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Current Music:Opeth - "To Rid The Disease"
Current Location:My Bubble
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Subject:I try not to care.
Time:04:28 am
Current Mood:drunkdrunk
I drank too much,

Did shit I shouldn't have done, including drunk dialing at 4 a.m.

Goddamn I'm lonely.

How am I able to type all of this legibly?
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Current Music:Devo - "Huboon Stomp"
Current Location:My Bubble
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Subject:Lookie here, I've been hurt
Time:11:11 pm
Current Mood:blahblah
...Gonna hurt you!

I currently have no internet, so this is a draft I am typing using Semagic. I think I'm going to go insane. It's been 2 days since I've been home with no internet, and I've already played into the middle of Act II on Laura Bow II. (Yeah, I got it to work, figure that out!) I tried FFVII but I think I need to hook up a gamepad which I don't feel like doing right now.

I've also decided that I need to go on a date. Like, a good, normal date. Haven't been on one of those in a LONG time.

I think I'm getting sick, and I don't think I've ever had as much tea and chicken soup in my entire life as I've had today.

I have about half of my stuff packed up already. So far all that is left is furniture, some clothes, and some other random things that I assume would fit into about 4 to 5 boxes. I don't know what I will do if June comes around and San isn't ready to move out yet. It wouldn't even be too bad to find somewhere to go as it would be to find somewhere for my shit until I find a permanent place. Anyway, I guess it's better to focus on packing my chit up and getting the place clean so I could just go.

I got a new j0rb (w00t) at a Bakery in Hackensack. They're going to "try me out" for 2 weeks, full time, at more than what I was getting at Shit-Rite. I kind of decided to stop going there. Haha. I was scheduled to work on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Instead, I just... didn't go. It would have been nice to just put in my 2 weeks and leave on a good note, but seriously, why would they even deserve that? I got treated worse than shit there. At least when you're done with shit you flush it. I was just there... and I just rotted. It was eating me from the inside, and not in a good way. I feel like I am in enough of a rut, with school, relationships, etc. Why would I want my job to be the boot on my head when I'm already facedown in a puddle?

As for school, I got a letter saying that I have left-over funds from Financial Aid that I can use for Summer 2007. That could be cool but all the classes are every other night, and I don't want to hinder any opportunities right now with my new job. I'll have to see what options are available. I guess if all else fails I can set back my major plans... again for another semester. At least when I eventually do get to major, I can just jump right in to the Nursing classes, and not be set back by general ones. That's a good thing, at least. I suppose on Thursday when I go back I'll talk to a counselor/Financial Aid person (cause nothing gets me in a better mood about my career than talking to pessimistic wastes of flesh that are in permanant periods of self-loathing). They are the worst people to talk to... about anything. Basically, all they do is tell you how stupid you are and how you can't achieve whatever it is you're pitching to them. What a pathetic waste of a paycheck.

Relationship-wise, I am not currently dating anyone on a serious note, though there is someone I am somewhat "involved" with. It's nothing necessarily serious, as I did just get out of a fresh battle with Captain Insane-O #1,873,897 (a.k.a. Rob). Yeah, I didn't see any of the shit he pulled coming, either. He seemed so well-rounded and harmless but as usual, my paranoia turns out to be my protector in the end. I have a few interesting text-attacks from him, but I will post those in a protected entry so the whole messy situation is a little clearer for people to understand. Long story short, he is emotionally devoid, and doesn't know what he wants. But when he didn't get what he thought he wanted at the time, he resorted to childish remarks and name-calling, at the same time (failing pitifully) trying to make me jealous. Eh, you can't win them all, I guess. At least I found out now, and had my guard semi-up the whole time rather than try to convince myself I was really in love just for the sake of being with someone for a year and a half. That, and on top of everything being seemingly perfect in a relationship, being nice to the parentals and coughing up expensive (not that I mind, really) gifts and vacations (again, no objections here) is no substitute for emotional stability. It was nice treating him like a doormat though. At least I escaped the mess with some dignity and not being the completely submissive "dainty little flower" of the relationship. At least if the sex was somewhat decent, and I had gotten what I wanted, it would have been the perfect balance--I control the relationship, and he controls the bedroom. Unfortunately, I guess if you're a pussy in one aspect, you're a pussy in all of them. Can't win them all. But hey--that's what dating is for!

I'm kind of excited to get back out on the official dating scene. Even if I don't find anyone in particular from it, at least I can gain some learning experiences. God knows I apparently didn't rack up enough from my last few mistakes.

Anyway, I'm going to finish my tea and play Laura Bow II some more, followed by a brief shower and then card night, which will be relocated at San's tonight. If Nicole comes and wins again, I am preparing for the Apocolypse. Update later bitches.
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Current Music:Z100 (?!)
Current Location:My Bubble
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Subject:IT'S ABOUT TIME! $*&@%#!
Time:09:36 am
Current Mood:satisfiedsatisfied
THE COBWEBS ARE GONE! W00T!

...Now if only I can find some ketchup for my Steak-umms.
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Current Music:Red Hot Chili Peppers - "Stadium Arcadium"
Current Location:BCC Computer Lab
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Subject:Who wants to buy me a car?
Time:05:46 pm
Completely irrelevant to, well, anything, but what are you going to do.

Rob and I are still broken up, and we both intend on it staying that way. Nope, no immediate reconciliation happening, so those waiting on the edge of their seat for it (:cough: Mom :cough:) can sit back and relax, cause it's not coming. At least, not for a long while. However, we are currently talking, and hopefully he won't continue to be a raging vaginal drama queen so we can at least sustain a normal friendship.

I gained a ridiculous amount of weight, and I look and feel disgusting. I have to move in 2 months, and my shitty job is barely paying my rent. I'm still looking though, so hopefully something can turn up in time for me to save some fast cash to move out comfortably. Oh well. Here's to hoping. Alittle too much.

Time for class. Update later... (probably not.)
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Subject:Oh yeah...
Time:05:59 pm
Current Mood:complacentcomplacent
And by the way, Rob and I broke up. Pretty much for good, I think. I'm still confused as to how to be handling this situation. Anyway, I have to get to class. I'll explain more later... maybe.
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Current Music:Dio - "Holy Diver"
Current Location:BCC Computer Lab
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Subject:Reposted from a long time ago.
Time:05:47 pm
Current Mood:blahblah
So I've been extremely disgruntled this month so far. The last week has not helped me any. Let me just break it down so it is easily understood.

I recently got a call back from a job that saw my resume on monster.com. They wanted me to come in for a "preliminary interview". I think, nice, I have a shot at a real job now. Turns out the place is like 5 blocks from Mom and Dad's, so the commute is easy times. I go in for the first interview. I am a little discouraged at first because the office is small and a bit unkept. (not a lot of furniture, etc.) Okay, no big deal. Then I notice there are other people who were there for the same reason I was. This makes me feel like a retail drone. Anyway, I stay. The guy who calls me in to interview me is named Eric and kind of cute. Heh heh. Things look good after I leave, and I get a call to come back for a "second interview". During the call, the secretary tells me to dress professionally and "prepared for the weather", and not to wear heels. Okay, so we might be outside for a bit. She wants me to come in 8-5.

I go in the next day, wearing flats with a pair of socks and leg warmers. I am introduced to a woman named Jenita. She seems nice, and I am told I will be working with her that day. I meet a dude named George who kind of reminds me (face-wise) of this pill-popping gay named Adam at Macy*s. He seems nice. So we all get in Jenita's car (which right away I am not comfortable with) and drive to Dunkin Donuts in North Arlington. She goes in for a minute and comes out to tell us we will have to "set up outside". Basically, what I did for 8 hours was stand outside in the balls-off cold while the two of them tried to peddle overpriced merchandise for a missing children's charity. Hey, don't get me wrong. I'm all for helping the needy and putting my effort where it counts. But I'm not on a payroll, and neither is my bad knee which acts up in almost any kind of extreme weather. I'm not shaping up to like this "job".

We come back to the office building at 5, I'm "interviewed" one last time by an apparent "Leader", named Kate. She explains some things to me and then I am told to come in even earlier tomorrow (today) at 7:30. Okay, no problem. I get up today and go over again, and was introduced to some seemingly shallow and skin-deep people. Not everyone was bad, don't get me wrong. Or maybe they were. I wasn't even listening to half of them. I was trying to avoid awkward eye contact with Eric. ;) Today it was going to be just me and Jenita. I am told we are going to the same place we did yesterday. Since they haven't recently expanded the Dunkin Donuts in North Arlington by, I don't know, enough space not to have people stand in the fucking cold for 8 hours, you know what that means. Hello stiff knees.

I'm not hungry since I had a good breakfast, but it's damn fucking cold, and my toes went numb again. Things were barely selling, and I was beginning to tire from the underlying nagging Jenita was trying to cover by being polite, basically telling me to harass people who obviously don't want to be bothered while getting their survival coffee on their lunch breaks to buy an oversized and overpriced t-shirt. At 1 p.m., Jenita "allows" me to go on my lunch break. An hour before this, I had been eyeing what looked like an alley on the side of the pizza place directly across from us. When I crossed the street to get my "pizza" for "lunch", I turned my head a bit to see if Jenita was watching me as I crossed the street. She was busy with her back turned. Score! I booked for the side of the building and found out it wasn't an alley. It was a fucking parking lot. 8 ft. tall fences all around me. Shit. That didn't stop me. I climbed a fence behind the pizza place and landed in someone's back yard. (I wound up getting a ridiculous bruise on my leg for 2 weeks.) I saw a gate leading to a side street. Yes! Easy exit. I went to the gate to open it. A fucking padlock was on the gate. This isn't fucking Newark, and I'm not fucking 2 feet tall. I hopped the gate and crossed over a few side streets before heading back to the main street the Dunkin' Donuts was on. I picked up a newspaper on the way. I got on the 76 to Hackensack and caught the 751 from there to the school for class in a couple hours. While on the 76, I opened the paper and covered my face with it in case Jenita just happened to be looking at the buses and saw me sitting on it. I noticed she was looking into the Dunkin Donuts, as if somehow I snuck past her to get in and climbed down the toilet to freedom. She called 2 hours later and left a voicemail asking if I quit. Needless to say, I never returned her call.

I had an interview a few days later for a cashier job at Shop-Rite. Accomplishing position? No. Rent money? Yes. Anyhow, I got the job and so far though a retarded hamster can pull it off, people still like to explain things to me as if this is a competition for the United States Presidency. It's something until I get my hands on something a little less menial.

Anyway that's it. There was more but this was a saved draft, so that's all I remember. Tough titty for you guys I guess. :p
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Current Music:Barenaked Ladies - "She's On Time" (Not Kidding)
Current Location:My Bubble
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Subject:Thick Or Thin
Time:06:38 am
Today seemed to suck (since I'm unbelievably awesome at being a pessimist on my birthday), until I decided to be bold at about 2 a.m. this morning.

I was basically sitting with my thumb up my ass in front of my computer when my second ex Nick signed on. (His SN is on the wife's BL, and her SN is linked with mine.) I decided to take a chance and IM him. He remembered who I was, and surprisingly enough, carried on conversation with me. I kept it casual for a little while and then jumped to the point. I told him I was sorry for the shitty things I did and said back when we were having drama after we broke up. I went on to say that I was young and stupid to do what I did and think that there was justification for it. He said if he had seen me at Bergen, he would have apologized to for being such a dick after everything was said and done. We basically talked about school, and other small conversational things. After we got that out of the way, I felt like a huge load was taken off my shoulders. I had been holding that in to tell him for almost 4 years.

I feel so much better now. Even if my birthday does blow complete donkey balls (which it would not surprise me if it does... again), at least I can sleep comfortably knowing I actually accomplished something worthwhile, and I got to finally tell him how much of a douchebag I felt like for doing what I did. Now that he knows, I can feel better knowing I got over a demon I had in me for years of insisting I was always right and had perfectly logical reasons for making mistakes. I don't know about you, but I chalk that up to improvement. Hopefully, I can only get better from here.

P.S. Not that Rob ever reads this, but thank you so much for being a huge part of that improvement and recognizing the good in me when it seems like no one else ever would. I love you. <3

P.P.S. Fuck all of you assholes who just read that and had a dry heave accompanied with "Awwwww!", and enjoy this "sensitivity" bit while it's in me. My period is only so long you know. Take advantage of the moment.
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Current Music:"Are You Happy Now" - Sahara Hotnights
Current Location:BCC Computer Lab
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Subject:It never fucking ends.
Time:08:32 pm
Current Mood:restlessrestless
Okay, so now there is apparent family drama. I'm not even going to begin to get into it here because not only is it too much to get into now, but I don't feel like exposing everyone's "side" to the story when it's not even laid out on the table yet.

I noticed from reading entries from as far back as 2001-2002 that I was a lot more honest in my LiveJournal entries, and held very little back. I think it's about time I incorporate that into my LiveJournal again. I don't even understand why I ever thought I owed any kind of censorship to the people who ultimately screw me over. Since when do I bow to them and goose-step my words for their comfort? Well, that bullshit stops here. If you don't like what I have to say in my own personal journal, you can post anonymous comments and be a complete jack-ass with your mindset still in grade school; or you can just take it like the little bitch you are, and accept the fact that if I don't like you, chances are, 98.6% of everyone else can't fucking stand you either. I do what I need to do, and I owe no explanations to anyone unless I feel I do. I'm old enough to know when I've done wrong, when I need to apologize, and when I need to tell you to go fuck yourself, because you're just plain wrong.

I feel better now. Prepare yourselves because it's going to get a little more brutal whenever I do ever get the chance to update this fucking thing.

P.S. In regards to the last paragraph, it is not written in reference to the prior statement of family issues. Most of the (un)censored entries were about petty childish issues that are now resolved, or about people from high school/former friends/ex-boyfriends/drama of the such.

Okay. Now for the whole life update.

I am still going to school but I am not doing as well as I had figured. Turns out despite me busting my ass for one class I am still getting a lower than expected grade, because the professor decided to be a complete and utter dick out of nowhere by refusing to give me credit for problems I got right with the work shown, because they were not done to his liking. The problems he marked wrong basically just kicked the shit out of my GPA, and set back my plans for majoring by a semester. He is SO getting a bad grade on ratemyprofessor.com. Basically right now, I need to have a 3.0 and have taken/be taking 7 classes on/before I major in Spring 2008. That comes down to 2 classes for 2 semesters, and 3 classes for one semester, which is definitely doable, but I can't afford to be wasting time. I don't see how Karma seems to be working out for me when I bust my ass and fail a class that sets me back a semester. I just want to start majoring and start my fucking life already. What's the fucking problem?

Next topic: Lovelife. I am currently still with Rob. Yes, it's been almost exactly one year and 4 months--officially the longest relationship I have ever been in. Kind of sad, considering my age and number of people I have dated (note the term "dated", not "slept with". Save the slut remarks for your mother). I do miss the single life, occasionally. Being able to go out, and freely flirt with someone without abandon or worry that it may lead to something more, or having those "feelings" you get with someone from spending a lot of time with them, or even just letting your hormones take control for one night. Whatever it may be, it reminds me of when I was younger and more free, and I miss it sometimes. But, I am 100% confident that it stands no chance of wrecking anything I have with Rob. I still feel like I can talk to him about (almost) anything, and he kind of feels like my best friend. Whenever I talk to him about a majority of things, he has something to say about it, not "Oh, that sucks", or "Sounds cool". He's also done way more and has been there for me more than a majority of "friends" in my life have. Sure, there are some things that can be improved. He can show a little more enthusiasm to see me. He can tell me that he is excited for something that could be happening for me. He can have a little more energy. It's been a year and he has definitely improved in a lot of things we would/could have otherwise broken up over. He's making the effort, and I feel like I can honestly (almost) say I trust him completely. One of the only problems is that he is a bit of a commitment phobe (Ironic, right?), and that I know when I plan on having children in say, 8 years (or when I am done with school), there is a chance he won't be ready. I also don't feel like being with someone for years and them being petrified to move in with me, even if it merely for convenience for the both of us. Just long run things like that that are real problems, but they are not to be worried about right now. Right now my main concerns are school, family, and work. I also feel good knowing that he isn't an attention-whore--that he is completely okay if I have to go to class, or feel like staying home and getting things around the house done and he won't whine about it. It's a very comfortable relationship, but I do have my needs. The little things should just be a matter of time to work out on their own. Even if we do break up, as long as we are friends, I think that I shouldn't take it so badly. He may be a dick sometimes, but he is amazingly family-oriented, and just an all-around good person. Wait until we have a nasty fight, and I'll change my tune. Best to get me in a good mood, eh?

The work front currently blows. I hate being in retail, but as of right now I have no choice, unless I hit the jackpot and get a cushy office job or an animal-related job. It would be like a dream to get a full time job taking care of animals in some way. Until I finish majoring and ultimately (hopefully as well) med school, that is absolutely the next best thing I can possibly be doing right now. Helping people and animals is all I want to be involved in job-wise. It feels like right now, it's just my passion in life, and it feels like it's what I want to do with my life. Hopefully, things will turn out better in 2007 and work out because 2006 has been a really BAD year for me.

That is all I can think of right now, asides from the apartment situation. Let's just say, I can't wait to go my own way and be on my fucking own. Considering I am not in my parent's house anymore (which sometimes sucks because now I feel like I should be closer to keep an eye on Dad and Derek and make sure Mom takes care of herself), I am not walking around naked in my own space NEARLY as much as I should be. And also, call me crazy, but as long as I pay to be somewhere I should not need to hinder my freedom or my cats' freedom of OUR space. They go where I go, and since I am allowed anywhere in my apartment, so are they. End of story. I have to deal with their petty bullshit and hypocritical remarks, they can fucking deal with a little fucking cat hair. Give me a fucking break and cry me a fucking river. (/end rant)

I posted some new pictures on myspace, and posted a short blog as well. There was also some bad happenings that are reported in the prior myspace blog that will not be mentioned here. It concerns someone from my past who I was formerly somewhat close to. Anyone who knows me obviously already knows what that's about. I am still deep in thought about it right now and still not completely accepting it, but life will go on. :sigh:

That is all for now. Feel free to leave me any comments with your thoughts. If you're anonymous, it better damn well be because you don't have a LiveJournal, and it better damn well have your name in it. If not, fucking try to see if I will give a rat's ass about the meaningless drivel you would otherwise call an opinion. I dare you.

Have a nice day fuckers!
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Current Music:Your mom's sweet mating call
Current Location:BCC Computer Lab
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Subject:Pffsh.
Time:07:13 pm
Current Mood:complacentcomplacent
Okay, so check this shit out.

My scheduled last day to work at Rave was this past Wednesday. 2 weeks prior, I wrote a 2 weeks notice, stating it was a Wednesday, and that I will be there for only 2 weeks. So, Monday comes along, and I come in to open the store, like I was scheduled. Santina (the District Manager) and a couple other stupid people were sitting by the door. I think, what the fuck, I was going to try to get to play my CDs in the store player, and now this? So they don't say anything to me, I just open the store and do my thing. One of the snotty ass-kissing brats that came with them made a comment about how the store was left a mess over the weekend. I happened to close that weekend, and I also wasn't about to stay until 3:30 a.m. to clean up someone else's mess when 1.) it was not my mess, and 2.) I don't give a shit because I'm fucking out in 4 days. So, I left some putbacks on the register, and the shoes were still messed up. Also, coincidentally enough, the vaccuum had disappeared so I couldn't clean the fitting rooms or the center carpet area (Right, cause I was going to do that anyway).

I ignored the comment, and instead, introduced it to the many feelings of bitterness for this shithole I had living in the pit of my stomach, and continued what I was doing. I slacked as much as possible after running the putbacks, and basically just did nothing until about 11 a.m. Old Hag of the Frigid Northeast (Santina) comes out and tells me to dust the front and organize the papers. I say okay, and begin to do so, as s l o w as possible. She retreated to the back, to work hard on the back room that needed so much work done but wasn't since she sent no one to help out me and the other 2 assistant managers, even though she was fully aware that as of that time (and currently), there is no store manager, and we were all leaving anyway.

Shanetta says to me that she's upset that I'm leaving. I say, well, even though Maria (Overly Bitchy Asian... Bitch) already left, I still have to deal with Sand-in-her-vagina-Tina, and I'm not about to work somewhere where I have to wonder if I will still be working there in a week because my work is never appreciated, or "enough". She says, more than ever Santina wants me to stay, which you know even if it WERE true it would only be because she needs a warm body to feast off of while she attempts to pull off a white g-string. (That's right folks, I had the unfortunate viewing of a 40, even 50-something old hag who is apparently confused about what decade she is in, trying to pull off something I wouldn't even wear). I'm frigging 22 and I only have one because I needed something to match the crappy bra I had at the time.

As if like soul-sucking clockwork, the Aging Female Yeti picks up on the scent of our conversation like a really crappy colored polka dot tunic that is supposedly 'in' right now, comes out from her dusty old vagina and asks me when my last day is. I tell her, "Wednesday". She says "It would just be better if you turn your keys in and go home now, because I would rather not have people play games. If you say on your two weeks your last day is Saturday, you should stay til Saturday." At this point, I wasn't really listening, but noticed she was bitching about something in my 2-weeks notice (because anything that involves me getting out of this asshole of a clothes store has got my full attention). I say, "I never said I was working until Saturday. I wrote on my 2 weeks that it was a Wednesday, and it will be 2 weeks from that Wednesday... this Wednesday. (Yes, you can go ahead and predict that I will need to dumb it down further for the poor old soul. Not only has she lost her hearing from not listening to me, she's gone blind and can't read and is senile.) She retorts, "Well, you're scheduled til Saturday." I say in a (ironically enough) dumbfounded tone, "I know, but I already told the other assistant managers that my last day will be Wednesday. I never said I was working, or even able to work on Saturday." She got her g-string in a wrinkled (not talking about the underwear) bunch and said "Well, you just need to clock out now and leave", or something. Did I mention I wasn't really listening to begin with? Oh, okay.

So I think, sweet. I get to go home and sleep before class. On my way home, I took out money from the bank, got money orders for my rent and tuition for the month, and got it out of the way early. I took a nap for about an hour, then got ready for class. I'm not worrying at all about it, because even though my paycheck will be shitty cause I decided not to show up on the busiest night of the week last week, I still have my rent, tuition, and food in the fridge and food for my cats. I don't need that fucking dump to rely on. I'm done with it.

Anyway, there will be more of an update later, cause I have an Algebra test to take now. Wish me luck, I need it. Badly. Almost as badly as the Succubus Santina needs a facial peel and a cure from Spina Bifida. Later bitches.
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Current Music:"In The Still Of The Night" - The Drifters
Current Location:My Bubble
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Time:01:11 am
Current Mood:exhaustedexhausted
Aww shit. It's been over 4 months. I'm back bitches. And you better hide your daughters good this time.

Yes yes, calm down. I'm still here. Nothing incredibly exciting going on. I've been busier than your Mom on Labor Day though. Here's a brief idea of what I've been doing the last 4 months.

-June 1st - Moved in to the new apartment.
-June 5th - Dad's Birthday.
-June 16th-18th - Camping Trip with the gang.
-June 21st - Nicole's Birthday.
-June 22nd - Toby's 1st Birthday.
-June 25th - Started my diet.
-July 7th - Mom's Birthday.
-August 8th - Officially lost 10.5 lbs.
-August 10th - Got waxed for the first time.
-August 11th - Went to Las Vegas with the "hubby".
-August 20th - Dad goes to the hospital. Again.
-August 26th - Nanna's Birthday, and last day at Macy*s.
-August 28th - Started working at my new job.
-September 6th - First day of classes at Bergen.
-September 14th - Officially the longest relationship I've ever been in.
-September 28th - 1st official month at the new job.

Since school started, I have had pretty much NO time to myself. Once I come home, I have about 2 hours to get everything I need to get done if I want to get a decent night's sleep. But, I always wind up getting sidetracked by something (like this for example--you should all feel special), and have been running on 5-6 hour nights (if I'm lucky) for the last 2 months. My addiction to coffee has returned with a vengeance, this time settling in the early morning hours. For about 3 days this week I went without it, and for that I'm pretty impressed. But thanks to the days and early nights, I have been needing it to keep my temper at bay work-wise. I haven't had much time to do homework, but little by little I am catching up. I'm going to do my Music 101 homework and start my English Comp I homework over the weekend, since I finally got a Goddamn Saturday off. It was only 3 weeks overdue. Ugh.

As you read before, I am still with "hubby" Rob. It has been officially the longest relationship I've ever been in. I feel like the spark is fading but I think I can almost confidently enough chalk that up to us being overworked, cause with the exception of his extensive recording, we usually have pretty decent weekends together. He is already talking about going on another vacation. I think it's a little soon but at least I can feel a little better knowing I can actually have some money going towards it with my new job. Times are still a little rocky cause it's the first month but in a few more they will get smoother. Once Christmas passes and February/Tax Season rolls around, it'll be easy street. I was thinking of saving up a bit for my own place in 8 months, and maybe leasing a nice car. Nothing brand spanking new, or expensive, just something I know will get me where I need to go without unexpected and expensive as hell car problems. Nothing set in stone though, just a thought.

And also as you read, I moved into the new apartment with the wife and her boyfriend, Al. Asides from the typical and expected roomie annoyances/inconveniences, things are pretty cool here. I get to sleep and breathe actual air (i.e. not mold) at the same time. I know that with the exception of them running out (:knocks on wood:), my babies are safe and free to go where they please (except for the roomie's room). When I know no one is home/will be home for a while, I can walk around in my underwear. Best of all, I can keep my food in the fridge, my personal shit in the bathroom, and my clothes in my closet/on my floor, and it's all STILL there when I get back. Oh yes, I can get used to this.

On August 20th, while I was away with Rob in upstate NY, Dad had another attack and passed out. Luckily he was on the phone with the cops at the time, and they were able to get to him by busting up the back door and brining him to the hospital. At first it wasn't looking good at all, and we were all wrecked (Well, I was anyway). But, once they got enough good blood in him, and he ate some good food and got a lot of rest and medication, he said he started feeling better, and he looked better too. He came home way earlier than expected, which we think he may have had something to do with, but I'm actually very pleased that there isn't much soda in the house, he's been taking his medication, and he passed up liquor at the small get-together we had at the house this past Sunday night. All things he never thought twice about not doing before, he has lightened up now. I'm hoping it lasts, but I'm just overall glad he's feeling better and actually making the effort to, well, live this time.

And yes, we went to Las Vegas last month for our vacation. It was nice, but unfortunately it had some sour notes. It started on the plane ride over. The flight was delayed 2 hours, so we wasted a night we were going to use to see the strip. I had a terrible anxiety/panic attack and I give myself uber credit for even making it to the hotel without collapsing in a cold sweat. The service was horrible, the movie sucked, and I got all the worst people sitting around me (except for Rob of course), considering I had quite possibly one of the worst migraines I've ever had in my life. Once we got to the hotel (which was beautiful by the way), I went straight to bed, as did Rob, and we got up early and went to the Shark Reef, which is an awesome and HUGE aquarium with everything from crocodiles to pirahnas to stingrays to sharks. Huge sharks. Nasty looking sharks with teeth that looked like my vagina. It was awesome. Rob hasn't dropped off the cameras yet but when they get developed I'll scan some in and post them. We also played some SLOTS and saw a kind of cabaret show with naked chicks. One of them caught me looking at her junk. Haha. We saw all kinds of hotels, and I got souvenirs for everyone, but I was on a limited budget so unfortunately the souvenirs sucked. Next time I'll get something really nice for everyone.

The new job is awesome so far, with the exception of one crabby manager with some kind of mental baggage. Whenever I don't agree with something she says, or when she insults my intelligence or tells me I can't do something right, she gets hardcore defensive and accuses me of "taking out my frustrations on her". I never bring my problems to work with me (except for the 5 hour sleep crankiness which is eased by sweet, sweet blood-er, I mean coffee), and she's the one with however many kids and problems, cause she is a fucking bitch when she wants to be (97% of the time). Anyway, the other girls are nice, and think I'm cool even though I'm in a higher position than them. I have to make sure that they are respecting me though cause you never know when something can happen on my shift that happened cause someone wouldn't think I won't yell at them. Eh, not used to it, but I'm working on it. Anyway, things are cool, the time passes pretty quickly, and the money is frigging AWESOME compared to Macy*s and Foo Basucks. Those jackasses can kiss my fucking ass and like it. Minimum wage making fucking losers. (Except for Mom since she's one of the few that actually busts her ass there.)

As for school, it's... well, school. The classes really aren't difficult, it's keeping up with the frigging homework that's tricky. I find myself running to the library to do the math homework 10 minutes before class, and writing out the Art 101 terms in the computer lab while trying to pull paragraphs for English 101 papers out my ass, all in one day. That's if I'm lucky enough to get to school 30 minutes early. I'm slowly cathcing up which is good, I'm just hoping that work doesn't get the best of me, cause I really have practically NO time to do homework... seriously. Luckily there is no class on Monday cause of Jewish Holiday but I'm still going to leave work early and go home to maybe :gasp!: take a nap or do some homework I haven't yet done. I guess it's more like one day at a time at this point, but those days are passing by really fucking quickly.

OKAY, that's enough updating for one night. I have a long day (of just work thank God but nonetheless) tomorrow/later today, and I want to get up early enough to eat breakfast and make a good lunch. I'm gonna need it to close on a frigging Friday. Ugh. Anywho, I'll be updating again relatively soon, and if I don't, don't get your knickers in a twist, just masturbate to my graven image until I return. And even if you go blind, that's better for the both of us. Take it easy assholes. Shitfuck.
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